Using Relationship Mapping to Improve Relationships With Students

Relationships are integral to learning, and a meaningful relationship with a teacher can change a student’s life forever. The importance of strong teacher-student relationships isn’t just a theoretical concept—it’s backed by solid research. A study in The Journal of Educational Psychology reveals that such relationships significantly enhance student motivation and achievement. A meta-analysis showed that teacher-student bonds can even reduce dropout rates and boost overall well-being for students.

Yet, as the school year unfolds, creating purposeful relationships with students can easily get lost in the shuffle of lesson plans and administrative duties. Relationship mapping is one way teachers can put relationships back in the forefront and focus on building purposeful connections in a classroom. After two to three weeks of getting to know students, I use this technique in my classroom to determine the relationships I need to focus on and decide which relationships I can use to support and increase student belonging and growth.

Relationship Mapping

Imagine a map not of geographical features but of interpersonal connections. Relationship mapping is this kind of map: a visual representation of the bonds between you and your students. It lets you quickly see who is deeply connected and who might need more engagement. This tool transforms abstract concepts of student relationships into concrete, actionable insights, enabling you to craft a more connected and supportive learning environment.

To start relationship mapping, get student rosters for the various classes you teach. Then choose whether you want to map digitally or on paper with four different-colored highlighters.

The next step is to identify your interpersonal connection level with students. For each name on the roster, assign one of four different highlight colors.

One color should be used for level 1 (L1): distant acquaintance. This is a student with whom you have had minimal interaction in the classroom. They may or may not interact during instruction, and you know little about the student.

The next highlight color represents level 2 (L2): transactional relationship. This relationship is characterized by academic knowledge without a personal connection. They might answer questions, but you know no information about the student, and they do not try to interact in the classroom unless prompted.

The next color is for students who have developed some attachment. They go under level 3 (L3): personal connection. For this level, you know at least two pieces of information about the student that they have openly shared. They seek guidance and help from you in the classroom.

The final color is level 4 (L4): deep relationship. This is a relationship in which the student will openly share information, feels safe sharing their thoughts and opinions, and actively seeks your guidance and advice.

With colors assigned, go through the student rosters and color code your relationships with students in your class or classes. Once you’ve finished with color coding, analyze your map.

Identify L1 and L2 students who need more support and recognize the strong connections you could use to support lower-level connections in the room. Once lower-level relationships are apparent, list the students who need more support and work to build deeper relationships with them. Every quarter, repeat and ensure that every student has the opportunity for a L3 or L4 relationship.

Creating these maps for 75 students usually takes me 10 to 15 minutes. I print out the rosters and use highlighters, and it’s definitely time well spent.

3 Quick Strategies for Deepening Student Relationships

1. 2x10. This approach involves spending just two minutes each day for 10 days having a personal conversation with a student. Each day, ask the student a question and build on what has been discovered. Consider using these leveled questions developed by social psychologist Arthur Aron to foster more significant relationships.

These interactions must focus on the student’s dreams, hobbies, and goals to help build trust and rapport. Each day, bring up information learned from the previous day and ask questions to learn more about the student. It’s possible to do multiple students on the same day and track what you learn on a roster.

2. Providing strong peer mentors. Another powerful method to build stronger relationships is to use relationship contagion, or the tendency for people to mimic the emotions of those around them. Pair students who are at L1 and L2 with those from L3 and L4. This can be done through direct mentoring during instruction or by strategically moving students on a seating chart.

This will help build classroom relationships and encourage engagement while offering academic and social support. The benefits extend beyond the mentees to the mentors, who gain leadership experience and strengthen their classroom connections. Through observing the positive relationship of the mentor and teacher, mentees are more likely to build trust and form positive bonds with the teacher as well.

3. Give students a personalized space. Relationships form when students feel they can share and be valued for who they are. A simple way to do this is to provide a space for students to share accomplishments and information about themselves in the classroom.

I do this by having a metaphorical refrigerator door—a bulletin board or white space—where students can share whatever they would like with the class. This allows students to share themselves at their own discretion and shows that I have a space that values my students' passions and interests, which helps foster student-teacher relationships and builds relationships between other students. It also gives me insight into passions and events I can utilize in instruction to boost engagement and foster connections with my students.

Relationships are Key

Relationship mapping is more than just a tool; it’s a strategic approach to ensuring every student can have a solid relationship with the teacher. By focusing on and nurturing these essential relationships, we create a learning environment where every student can thrive. Embracing relationship mapping allows us to work to ensure that each student feels connected, valued, and seen so they can develop to their full potential.