Self-Calming in the Midst of Emotional Turmoil

Effective emotional regulation and mental well-being are crucial for students’ academic success and overall quality of life. In teaching students self-regulation techniques, it’s important to realize that there’s a significant gap between discussing these skills and successfully implementing them, especially among students facing emotional challenges.

This divide became apparent to me while working with a middle school student struggling to manage her emotions, which highlighted the critical need to bridge the gap between understanding emotional regulation and applying the strategies.

During my second meeting with the student, at one point I introduced various strategies for managing intense emotions. I asked her about different techniques, and to my surprise, she demonstrated a thorough understanding of each strategy and how to execute it.

What struck me most was her admission that she had never considered using these techniques during moments of emotional distress.

The Outburst

A week later, I witnessed her experiencing a severe emotional outburst, where she was overwhelmed with tears and unable to regain composure. At that moment, I suggested we explore techniques together that could help her regain emotional control.

Despite her awareness of these strategies, she expressed doubts about their efficacy in her current state. This instance was a reminder that theoretical knowledge alone doesn’t equip students with the practical skills needed to navigate intense emotional experiences.

In subsequent sessions, I shifted focus from theoretical discussions to practical applications aimed at immediate emotional regulation. We began with simple yet effective techniques such as deep breathing exercises and self-monitoring practices designed to enhance self-awareness and accountability. We discussed the following strategies.

Mindfulness Practices 

Mindfulness involves being present and aware of thoughts, feelings, and sensations without judgment. Some ways to implement mindfulness include these strategies.

Body scan: If the student arrives feeling disturbed, I guide them through a body scan, a relaxation technique, to help them become aware of physical sensations and relax tense muscles. 

Mindful movement: Throughout the course of the school day or in mental health sessions with a school social worker or school-based therapist, students can get antsy and become unfocused, so I introduce activities like stretching exercises to promote focus, relaxation, and stress reduction.

Breathing

Deep breathing is a form of mindful breathing that helps calm the nervous system and reduces stress. During our session, we start with simple breathing exercises. For example, we practice various deep breathing exercises for a few minutes at the beginning or end of each session. 

Square breathing: Instruct students to breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, exhale for four counts, and hold for four counts. Students then repeat these actions several times. 

Diaphragmatic breathing: Teach students to breathe deeply into their diaphragm (belly breathing) rather than doing shallow chest breathing.

Self-Monitoring

Self-monitoring is the process of observing and evaluating one’s own thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and overall well-being.

Introducing students to daily reflection exercises, such as journaling about their actions and emotions, promotes self-awareness and enables them to identify triggers and patterns in their emotional responses.

Emotion thermometer: Throughout sessions, I often utilize a visual scale, such as a thermometer, which helps students to assess their emotional state. This tool enables them to monitor changes in their emotions and identify factors that may influence their well-being.

The Importance of Practical Application

After having thought-provoking conversations about not just techniques but also conscious implementation, I observed encouraging progress in the student’s ability to regulate her emotions. Her emotional outbursts still occurred, but she no longer felt helpless as she became more adept at applying the emotional regulation techniques we practiced together. Notably, she also began sharing these skills with peers who faced similar emotional challenges.

This experience highlights the critical importance of moving beyond theoretical knowledge to practical application in teaching emotional regulation. Merely discussing strategies is insufficient; students need to be equipped with the skills and confidence to effectively manage their emotions in real-life situations.

Educators and mental health professionals play a pivotal role in bridging this gap by emphasizing practical implementation and providing ongoing support.

Ideas for Effective Implementation

To effectively bridge the gap between understanding and application, consider the following points.

Simplify techniques: Break down emotional regulation strategies into simple steps that students can easily apply in various situations.

Promote regular practice: Encourage consistent practice of mindfulness and self-regulation techniques to build familiarity and confidence.

Incorporate self-monitoring: Integrate reflective practices and tools like checklists and emotion thermometers to enhance students’ self-awareness and emotional regulation skills.

Provide supportive resources: Offer accessible resources such as guided exercises and instructional materials to support students in their journey toward emotional well-being.

It’s essential for educators and mental health professionals to not only impart knowledge but also empower students with the tools and confidence to effectively navigate their emotional landscapes.