A Warm Demander Approach to School Leadership

At this year’s graduation ceremony, a student approached with his mom and dad. As I offered my congratulations, his mom said, “The one person he wanted here today was you, Mrs. Cabeen.” Surprised, since our connection was nearly five years ago, I asked why. The student replied, “Mrs. Cabeen, you always cared about me, never gave up on me, and had higher expectations for me than I had for myself.” Almost at a loss for words, I managed to say, “Thank you for reminding me of the importance of why I have chosen to lead the way I do.”

As a principal, I intentionally challenge the stereotype of detached school leadership. Whether dancing students into school or attending college events, I aim to bridge the gap between traditional expectations and the reality of meaningful school leadership.

Being a Warm Demander

Research consistently underscores the pivotal role of positive relationships with both teachers and administrators in fostering academic success. Warm demanders approach their students with unconditional positive regard, thoroughly understanding their students and their cultures, while insisting on high performance standards. Elizabeth Bondy and Dorene Ross’s concept of the warm demander highlights the importance of building caring relationships grounded in belief and expectation. If this approach works for teachers, why not for leaders and students as well?

At our school, we operationalized this philosophy through three guiding principles: elevate the experience, accelerate the learning, and celebrate the success. And when trying to change the culture and ensure that a school is meeting the needs of all their scholars, the warm demander is woven through the interactions and actions between the student and teacher, as well as the leader and those they serve.

Elevating the experience: This requires more than taking attendance, grading, and making connections within the 50-minute class period. The “warm” in “warm demander” in this area for us means building intentional relationships with staff and students to ensure that they feel seen, heard, and valued.

Recognizing that traditional classroom settings can sometimes be intimidating, we take concrete steps to alleviate student anxiety. To create a more welcoming environment throughout the year, teachers meet students in more relaxed and comfortable settings. This shift required us to restructure our student space on campus and offer other locations to connect, such as the library. This change not only helped alleviate students’ anxiety but also promoted a more open and engaging atmosphere for learning and interaction.

Accelerating the learning: This step involves reshaping mindsets and fostering a growth-oriented culture. Instead of students thinking, “I can’t learn this,” we encourage them to adopt the mindset of “I haven’t learned it yet.” This subtle but powerful shift in perspective lays the foundation for a more resilient and determined approach to learning. To put this philosophy into practice, we introduced Advanced Placement (AP) courses in the 2023–24 school year, starting with Human Geography in 10th grade.

Our focus was on maximizing opportunities and providing robust support rather than fixating on potential challenges. We offered comprehensive resources, including additional tutoring, study groups, and access to online learning platforms, to ensure that every student had the tools they needed to succeed. Teachers received specialized training to deliver AP content effectively and to identify and address individual learning gaps.

This holistic approach boosted not only students’ confidence but also their performance, resulting in a remarkable increase in the passing rate—from a mere 50 percent to an impressive 92 percent. This transformation showcased the profound impact of a supportive learning environment and a growth mindset, providing a replicable model for other schools aiming to accelerate their own students’ learning.

Through weekly data meetings and Building Assets Reducing Risk supports, we have worked to identify student struggles and strengths and to make meaningful interventions and supports for success. The data behind this is also something incredible. When our school opened, we were at a 36 percent course passing rate, and three years later we are now at 77 percent. This dramatic improvement is a testament to the power of targeted interventions and the importance of regularly reviewing and responding to data.

Celebrating success is essential: Our team regularly reviews and celebrates our student success in and out of the classroom. Each season of the year, we go to social media to give shout-outs to all our students participating in extracurricular events. Whether it’s sports, music, fencing, equestrian activities, or FFA, we ensure that every student’s involvement is recognized and celebrated. This consistent acknowledgment of our students’ diverse talents and achievements reinforces their sense of belonging and motivates them to continue striving for excellence.

One of our key initiatives was the creation of a Wall of Fame. This special display area showcases the accomplishments of our students, immortalizing their successes for the entire school community to see. Not only are students’ names posted on our wall, but students receive a certificate signed by the entire team and sent home in the mail. By doing so, we not only honor individual achievements but also inspire others to strive for excellence, creating a culture of recognition and motivation within our school.

Furthermore, we made it a point to acknowledge and celebrate the personal impact that teachers had on their students. We share and celebrate important moments in our community, from a heartfelt speech by a graduating senior about a teacher’s lasting influence to a parent’s expression of gratitude for a teacher’s dedication. This continuous recognition of individual and collective achievements strengthened our bonds and motivated everyone to strive for excellence.

It’s Not Warm or Demanding—It’s Both

You can’t have warm without demanding. Remember the student I talked with at graduation? He had struggled all through his first year at our school. I visited him at home that summer, and I let him know he had a clean slate to start the year with me. That clean slate was not a free pass or a “get out of an office visit” card. Instead, I was determined to catch him doing more right than not and to be honest when he could do better. I walked him to class a few times so that he didn’t get distracted, made copies of his missing assignments and dropped them off at his house, and called home when he was nominated for the “positive phone call home” with a beaming smile.

By adopting unconventional methods and prioritizing relationships, school leaders can create a transformative culture where every student has the opportunity to thrive.